Chrissy: I make my own happiness.

These past few months have been great.

Really, they have been.

But they've also been hard.

I don't adjust well to change. It's not an easy thing for me.

Consequently learning how to live without the fam has been a struggle.

I tend to linger on the past, or look to the future.

And unfortunately I forget to appreciate the present.

This week has not been a very good one,

and I found myself wishing either to be back at home or to be done with college, married, and working.

It seemed as if my brain had hardwired itself to think the my happiness depended on things I couldn't control.

As I complained about this to my roommate she told me, "Chrisanne! Just go distract yourself. Go do something good."

So I started a self portrait.

I found it made me happy. And from my foul mood came something beautiful.

I thought of using it for my final project in my 2-D design class, but the background is too ridiculous to turn in.

But still. I feel like this painting of myself kind of taught me how to brew happiness.

I can make my own happiness by just doing what I love.

I don't have to let the way I feel be controlled by outside forces.

The discovery is rather liberating!

First time with watercolor in a LONG time.